200 days and counting

Wow. I am getting married in 200 days. Now, that seems like it is still a really long ways off, but at the same time I know that its going to go by so quickly and will be here before I know it.

I am so ready to be married. I am excited that I get to spend the rest of my life with the one I love, and go through all of life's ups and downs by his side. But at the same time I wonder if I'm truly ready to be a wife. That is such a large responsibility. I mean just look at all of the numerous passages in scripture that dictate a wife's responsibilities. Reading these passages sometimes gets me discouraged. I feel as if I often fall short of these images. And somedays it seems as if I'll never get there.

It is my heart's desire to be the kind of wife that the Bible talks about. I long to be that for Mark, and to be able to be the kind of love and support system that he needs. Sometimes I just don't feel like I'm ready. I know that our love is strong and that we will be able to work through anything that comes our way. But at the same the time I feel as if I have a long way to go until I can get to this Biblical picture of "the perfect wife". Sometimes I feel as if my own selfish desires and my great amount of stubbornness gets in the way of me achieving this. Sometimes it seems like I will never be the perfect wife, because lets face it. I'm human and I make A LOT of mistakes. Despite all of these feelings, I still long to be the best wife that I possibly can be.

It will take work, and lots of dedication. But I am ready to devote myself to him, he is my everything and he deserves that kind of attention from me. I know that I am not going to automatically be the perfect wife. But I'm committed to becoming as close to that Biblical image as I possibly can be.

Love is not just a feeling, it takes work. And marriage is not always going to be a walk in the park, its a committment that takes dedication. But we have God on our side, and I know that with Him all things are possible. And He will help me become this wife that we hear so much about throughout the scriptures.

Who knew a cell phone banner could mean so much?

So last night, I opened up my phone to discover that someone had changed my banner. While this may not seem like an important event, it really got me thinking. It simply said “be thoughtful : )”. While this is extremely simply it really got me thinking. I need to be thoughtful; I need to think of those around me, those I love and the ones that are closest to me. And I need to think of God and how I should be living my life for him, all of the time. As I let the meaning of the those words soak in I began to think of Philippians 2, which I have been reading and meditating on for the past couple of weeks alongside the rest of the young adult group. This passage talks a lot about having the mind of Christ, and doing nothing out of selfish ambition. It seemed to coincide directly with the message on my phone, be thoughtful. I’m starting to realize that many times I let my own selfish desires get in the way of really serving and loving those around me. If I am to be like Christ then I have to learn to be selfless. While that is an enormous task in itself, I can start simply by being thoughtful. If I spent a little bit more time throughout my day thinking about others and their needs over my own I feel as if my attitude towards life would start to be drastically changed. I feel that once I start to be thoughtful I will really start learning what it means to love. I know that being thoughtful can go a lot of different ways, but these words are really challenging me to live out the words of Philippians 2:3-5. I want to be more like Christ and have the same attitudes as He does. However, that is not an easy task to accomplish. So to put it in literal terms, I am striving to be thoughtful and really try to put others before myself. And start thinking of their wants and needs above my own. Even if this means I have to give up something once and awhile. Even if it means I don’t get my way. This is not going to be easy, and I’m not expecting a complete transformation where I no longer think of my own needs ever again. However, I am stepping out in faith and taking a small step closer to becoming more like my Savior.

While I feel as if the mystery person who posted this to my phone did not mean for it to be so deep and full of meaning, I’m really glad they did. Because of their simple words I feel as if I have stumbled upon a great revelation, a truth that has been waiting to smack me in the face. These simple words have changed my thinking and are transforming the way I want to act around and towards the people I encounter and interact with on a daily basis.

Be thoughtful.